Man Is an Island in the Crowded Room

We are living in a time when a person can stand in the middle of a crowded room and still feel completely alone.

There are people everywhere - at work, in families, in social circles, on our phones, and across our networks - yet true human connection often feels rare. There are many conversations, but warmth is lacking. Smiles are exchanged, but trust is missing. We meet more people than ever before, but belong to fewer groups than ever before.

Why is this happening?

Perhaps because many relationships today have quietly become transactional. Too often, the unspoken question behind human interaction is: “What is in it for me?” A person is respected not always for who they are, but for what they have - power, money, position, authority. These have become the new social measuring scales. The more one has, the more space one is given. The less one has, the more likely one is to be overlooked.

In such a world, people begin to keep a distance - not because they are naturally cold, but because society teaches them to calculate. Time is treated like currency. Presence is weighed against usefulness. Even kindness is sometimes offered selectively, depending on status, influence, or return.

And somewhere in this rush, trust quietly slips away.

A sense of belonging, which once made communities strong and relationships meaningful, now takes a back seat. Many people are surrounded by others, yet emotionally stranded. They are seen, but not understood. Heard, but not felt. Included, but not embraced. That is why modern life, despite all its noise, often leaves the human heart standing like an island in a crowded room.

But this is not the full story of humanity.

Human beings are not wired only for survival, ambition, and self-interest. Deep within, we are also wired for compassion. We are capable of kindness without reward, care without calculation, and presence without agenda. We have all seen it - in the friend who stays when there is nothing to gain, in the colleague who helps quietly, in the stranger who offers support at the right moment, in the family member who understands without being asked.

These are not small things. They are what keep the human world alive.

The world may be becoming more materialistic, but the answer is not to become harder. The answer is to remain human. To check on someone without needing a reason. To listen without rushing. To offer time, not because it is profitable, but because someone matters. To value people not for their status, but for their shared humanity.

In the end, life is not remembered only by the wealth we built, the authority we held, or the power we displayed. It is remembered by the hearts we touched, the burdens we lightened, and the people who felt less alone because we were there.

So even in a crowded, hurried, transactional world, let us choose differently.

Let us be the person who makes another feel that they are not an island.

Because humanity still survives - one selfless act at a time.

Who are you when no one is watching

You can learn a lot about a person in just 30 minutes on a busy road.

Watch how someone drives during peak traffic. Do they cut lanes without warning? Do they keep honking without reason? Do they jump signals, block crossings, squeeze through tiny gaps, and behave as though everyone else on the road is an obstacle? If so, it raises an uncomfortable question: what does this say about the person behind the wheel?

Driving is not just a mechanical skill. It is a social behaviour.

The road is one of the few places where our real nature comes out without much filtering. There, patience, empathy, self-control, respect for rules, and regard for others are constantly tested. A person may speak politely in an office, post inspiring quotes on social media, and present themselves as cultured and educated. But on the road, when delayed, frustrated, and anonymous, their inner discipline often reveals itself.

Rash and irrational driving is not always about poor skill. Very often, it reflects a deeper mindset: “My time matters more than yours.” “My urgency is more important than your safety.” “I want excitement, speed, and advantage - even if others suffer.”

Can such a person be called socially responsible? That is difficult.

A socially committed person understands that public spaces belong to everyone. They do not treat fellow citizens as targets to be overtaken or inconveniences to be pushed aside. Responsible driving shows respect not only for traffic rules but also for human life, public order, and shared civic duty.

But should we simply label bad drivers as “uneducated” or “antisocial”? Not always. Education is not merely literacy or degrees. Many highly qualified people behave terribly on the road. The issue may not be a lack of formal education but rather a lack of emotional maturity, self-regulation, and civic sense. That is far more serious.

Now comes an interesting thought: can a person’s driving behaviour predict whether they would be a good employee?

To some extent, yes.

Driving in heavy traffic can reveal traits that matter at work as well - impulse control, patience, discipline, risk judgment, anger management, respect for systems, and concern for others. Someone who is reckless, entitled, and inconsiderate on the road may carry those attitudes into the workplace. Not always, but often enough to make us think.

Could organisations use this as part of the hiring process? Perhaps not as a rigid rule, but as an insightful behavioural indicator. A short observed drive may reveal more than a polished interview answer. After all, character is best seen in moments without a script.

Ultimately, the road is not separate from society. It is society in motion.

Perhaps the question is not only how people drive, but also who they become when no one is watching.

When You Are an Option

Have you ever felt that someone keeps you around, but never truly chooses you?

It hurts in a way that is hard to explain. They are not fully gone. They are not fully present either. You are somewhere in between - useful, available, familiar - but not important enough to be a clear choice.

This happens in relationships. A boy says he loves a girl, but the moment he sees someone else, his attention shifts. He keeps one person close while looking for another. It can happen at work too. An employee speaks about loyalty and teamwork, but treats the organisation like a temporary stop until something better comes along. He does the job, but his heart is not in it.

So what does this behaviour really mean?

Sometimes, it means the person is confused. Sometimes, they are emotionally immature. Sometimes, they simply want the comfort of having someone or something, without the responsibility of being fully committed to it.

People like this often want the safety of a connection but do not want to close off other options. They like knowing that someone is there for them. They like the support, attention, and reliability. But when it comes to making a clear choice, they hesitate. Why? Because choosing one person, one relationship, or one workplace means letting go of other possibilities. And not everyone is ready for that.

Psychology shows that commitment weakens when people keep comparing what they already have to what else might be available. In simple words, when someone is always looking outside, they stop valuing what is already in front of them.

Is this a personality issue? Or is it an opportunistic mindset?

It can be both.

Some people are naturally restless. They are never fully settled. They keep doubting their decisions. Others are more calculating. They knowingly keep people and places as backups until a better deal comes. One comes from inner confusion. The other comes from convenience.

Culture can also play a role. In countries like India and Japan, people are generally taught to value loyalty, responsibility, and staying connected to the group. In more individualistic countries, such as the U.S. and many parts of Europe, people are encouraged to think more about personal choice and freedom. But still, this is not just about culture. In every country, you will find both loyal people and people who keep others as options.

So how should we deal with such people?

In personal life, do not beg to be chosen. If someone keeps you confused for too long, that itself is an answer. Respect yourself enough to step back.

At work, do not judge only by words. Watch actions. Commitment is seen in consistency, ownership, and sincerity - not in clever talk.

In the end, when someone treats you as an option, it says a lot about them. But it should also remind you of your own worth.

You deserve to be chosen with clarity, not kept around for convenience.

Leadership, Boundaries, and the Grace of Being Genuine

In every workplace, managers are expected to do more than assign tasks and review outcomes. At the heart of good leadership lies a simple but meaningful responsibility: to provide the right guidance and create a positive environment where people can come to work each day with clarity, dignity, and purpose. I have always believed this is one of the most important duties of any person managing a team, and I sincerely try to practice it every day.

A workplace should feel stable, respectful, and encouraging. People perform better when they feel they are part of a fair, professionally nurturing atmosphere. To me, this is the baseline of good management. When this foundation is in place, teams are better able to collaborate, contribute, and grow together.

At the same time, human expectations do not stop there. Once a decent atmosphere is created, the mind naturally begins to seek more - more understanding, more emotional reassurance, more personal validation. This is only human. In many ways, it reflects what Maslow’s Need Hierarchy Theory teaches us: once basic needs are met, higher needs emerge. In professional settings, it is also important to understand boundaries. Colleagues come together to work, support one another, and bring out each other’s strengths for the greater good of the organisation. Expectations beyond mutual respect, decency, and a healthy work culture may sometimes become misplaced. Not every need can or should be fulfilled at the workplace.

Personally, I try to remain genuine and authentic in my dealings with people. I do not believe in leading from an emotional high, nor in making relationships at work performative. But that does not mean I am absent as a human being. In my own quiet way, I try to remain a pillar of support for the people around me. Whether or not everyone recognises it is not something I dwell on. Support does not always need an announcement; often, it simply needs consistency.

I also do not see myself as self-righteous. Life teaches us every day, and people around us become mirrors in unexpected ways. I observe, reflect, and try to evolve. Growth, to me, is not about proving that I am always right. It is about becoming a little more aware, a little more balanced, and a little more compassionate as I move forward.

I have also reached a point where I no longer spend time trying to convince others of my intentions. Deep within, I know I am not wired to wish ill for anyone. Beyond that, I leave space for time, life, and the universe to do their work. People eventually find answers to the questions they carry about others. How someone chooses to interpret us or remembers us is often beyond our control.

At this stage of my life, I feel deeply grateful for my roots, for the values instilled in me, and for the inner compass they continue to provide. In the end, those values define who I am far more than opinions ever could.

The Wholesome Self

 

How one defines wholesomeness in self. Based on my experiences in life, I attempt to scribble my thoughts. We often talk about being a dreamer and constantly working towards your dream. At young age I saw my dreams were like “sky is the limit”, but as years went by dreams also started to become more practical and at my current age it is more in line with the reality of my life. A transition from ‘fantasy to reality’. I believe this happens to most bourgeois middle-class Indians. Dreaming too much, setting high expectations for self and then seeing the gap widening with reality tend to make every soul in philosophical mode. In short, your aspirations are made to rest. As a Child you dream BIG, but at a later stage in life ‘the child in you’ dreams less or stop dreaming.

 

Achievers in personal and work life have always been dreamers, but then they stayed focused on what they aspire for, do not entertain distractions, they try to seek and get into the company of people who believe in making their dream a reality. More to that, I believe it's a continuum with 5 equal sections. The cumulative and compounded output of these five in an individual results in wholesomeness. The famous five include Capability, Honesty, Blessings, Luck and Love.

 

One needs to be capable and have expertise in craft (Capable), honesty and integrity as his identity (Honesty), blessings from parents, teachers, and mentors in life (Blessings), and be able to take the mileage by being at the right place at the right time with the right mindset (Luck), together with the overwhelming love from people at large (Love) leads a self to wholesomeness.

 

Human minds are insatiable. In his journey, a man with his hard work, concerted efforts, life experiences, blessings, luck and love reach a blissful mindset, inner happiness and a secure state of existence, is what wholesomeness means to me. One could be a common man yet achieve wholesomeness through your deeds and thoughts, without the need to get enlightened and be mystic.

Mother's day, penned down a note.......

 ‘Amma’ is an emotion that finds deeper meaning as years go by. Especially when you are at your low, the presence of Amma or even a talk over the phone is great medicine to the soul. I have felt many times and I have observed it many times as well that mothers irrespective of their education, act as tranquillisers, stay calm-composed and stand rock solid beside as a pillar. Their belief about their children is quite deeply rooted and none can change. It’s like wine ageing. I have felt mothers are mentally strong though they might look weak and subtle outside. It’s a fact that relations are entirely transactional in nature, mother is the one emotion where ‘unconditionality’ pitches in. It’s a blessing for all those who could enjoy more of that unconditional love. This reminds me of the historic scene from the iconic film Deewar, the heated argument b/w the brothers Amitabh & Shashi Kapoor, the scene ends with the heart-touching liner when Shashi Kapoor says ‘mere pass maa hai’. Take care of them, be with them, and ensure they are in their zone, that’s the best we can give. The fact is that we will never be able to repay our mothers. With that note, ‘Happy Mother's Day’ to all wonderful mothers.

Is a Machinist be poor in people management or is it a protective shield he puts deliberately across in public?

I am a person who loves to live and keep my activities/things in order. At home and at the workplace, I am OCD. I used to take care of all the things which are associated with my daily routine with at most care and diligence. Can bracket the items like my pen, my backpack, my laptop, my electronic gadgets, my shoe, my books/files, my vehicle….etc all as materialistic. In a way, how I see is that these items can’t speak up like humans, hence the person who handles/manages these should be logically a step ahead of a people management expert. Take the case of people who have pets at home, they take care of them quite nicely by providing all the comfort before they demand (it's like ordinary people think futuristic and act accordingly). Thus, for a discussion purpose, I bracket a Machinist as one who manages everything (ie, who can’t speak up) except humans. 

I understand, to manage people in an organization is the most difficult part, as people have different views and it’s the people mindset that takes the maximum time to change when compared to systems and process change. In my experience, whether it's machine or people, one can effectively manage with good subject knowledge, logical approach, being genuine, transparent, trust, and relatedness with which others could connect. It is not rocket science. My moot point here is, a person in his work life of 30 years of which he dealt managing machines for 28 years and only 2 years into people management, could be pardoned and bracketed that he could miss out on the nuances and nitty-gritty involved in managing people and not for a people-oriented person who is into 30 years in man-management. Is a Machinist live in silos, does he not communicate with the community (people). He is a machinist only as part of his work. A child growing to man, it’s the environment which contributes 80% towards character formation and only 20% is through parenting/genes. I have also seen people who are very effective in managing everything and anything at home and in the extended family and project themselves as a disaster when it comes to the workplace. 

A Mechanist or a People Manager, both are leaders even though one manages the non-speak ups and the other manages the speak-ups. A person who manages the non-speak ups, is intellect, intuitive, strategist, empathizer, reflective, and above all does things up front, in short, I would say he is a mind reader, fixer, keen observer, and executioner at the same time. Many times I have come across hearing that people management is an art and a soft skill that everyone does not possess. There are people at the workplace, who project as ‘not capable’ in handling people, but the moment they see an opportunity, they do all and above which is prescribed under the people management realm. At times I got surprised by these types of people reaching out to others and convincing colleagues in line with their thought process. Many a time, it is also observed that these subtle characters at the workplace, show exemplary persona in effectively managing, especially the monthly home chores without any guidance and support single headedly.

Would conclude by saying that ‘if you are born as a human (IQ wise not a challenged individual), then the mere statement of one saying that I perhaps could not meet the expectation of people, in the first place was definitely not genuinely interested to do anything for the people around, irrespective of he being a mechanist or a people’s person. A man lives as a leader and a follower same time, it is like two sides of a coin, empathy is the key, ignorance of not understanding can only be looked upon as deliberate!!!

Is Climate change going to cost us (India) heavily?

A couple of days before, I came across a YouTube video in Malayalam about 8 major cities of India which will rise as megacities of the world by 2050. Among the Indian cities, the 1st ranked is Mumbai. At present, Mumbai's GDP is about 380 billion approximately and feeds about 1 crore population. By 2050, the city will feed a 4 crore population with a whopping GDP contribution. Folks, then I happened to see a video by GravitasPlus on 'Climate Change is Changing You' which says that Mumbai city will have an existential crisis by 2050 due to climate change. Hence the following thought,

The larger question is that what will happen to the majority of that 4 crore population of Mumbai, and what will happen to the Indian economy with Mumbai being hit badly. Will Pune be able to grow, could repair the loss and replace Mumbai. Can Pune be a Plan B option....a wild guess. Whether in the next 30 years, a country like India will be able to absorb this huge loss. By then India might have become a developed economy OR over the next 30 years, India should focus to develop other pockets such as semi-urban and rural locations so that today’s ingress of rural and semi-urban mass to big cities and metros for jobs could be restricted, thus focus to build more jobs in semi-urban and rural areas. Will such a strategy affect the operational efficiency of companies to operate out of lesser developed areas in terms of raw material availability, logistic issues....etc. Will private companies and big corporates will make an early move, whether Government will be able to roll out an early bird scheme for Industrialists/Corporates/Companies towards such a step OR Public-private partnership is the only way out.

Sea level rise on an average one feet per year, so its 30 feet rise in sea level in 30 years due to climate change.

Sachin , the Bharat Ratna..........

My Sachin,  Our Sachin………………..Thankyou Sachin

Yes…….I was not a big follower of Sachin's game all these days. But I knew he is always special. Yesterday he proved, he is a genius……a real superhero. His farewell speech made me feel, I was so ignorant about him. A big mighty sports personality as he is, still very much grounded, humble and honest in his approach. Over those 24 years of his international cricket career, he remained always clean, a true Indian, who remained as an epitome and lifted the spirit of this wonderful gentlemen's game. He is a 21st-century role model who can be looked up to by everyone in all walks of life. Its Sachin….Sachin…..all over, it is my Sachin, our Sachin…….Thank you, Sachin. The last word in his farewell speech “Goodbye” came as a real thunder for every Indian ears…….just hard to believe….he said so. But again goes by the famous saying……All good things need to culminate to a good ending…..so is Our Sachin. Today, respect for him raised multi folds when he showed the ultimate gesture…..dedication of his Bharat Ratna, to all mothers, and for all their sacrifices…..to nurture every son of our soil.

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar…..SRT, the Bharat Ratna…….proud to be an Indian. Now it's every Indian's turn to take care of our Bharat Ratna.

Sachin……..to you……a small tribute.

Are all of us equals.....!

Probably the last post to scribe on 2012, yet again on a cynical note only. It's with regards to the public distribution system of food grains through ration shops in Kerala. The current Congress government has promised to distribute rice a kg at Re.1 to the masses. To an extent, it getting practiced also, but why I am cynical is that some undercover acts are happening in PDS of rice, as the grains gave through ration shops at places where financial weak/deprived section says they are distributed with degraded quality rice grains infested with insects, mud and stones, whereas through the same PDS, good quality rice grains are distributed in areas where financially more stable people stay. Why this discrimination……based on social strata….unable to understand. The problem I see here is not with the Government not procuring enough good quality rice grains for distribution to its entire mass, but I am very much skeptical of the fact that a major share of these rice grains ready for distribution is floated through an alternate channel which includes bureaucrats  & middlemen and they siphon it off  for commercial purposes and thus make money from these subsidized product, on the contrary, the poor masses are supplied with devalued product who does not have the right for their “ Voice Up”. This is with regards to the expose on the subject at Idukki District in Kerala. If the deprived class ask the concerned ration shops…. “why this rice for us, then the reply is if you want to have, take this, otherwise not even this “……..When we will our so called educated society start to accept poor/deprived class as humans…..food for thought as we step into 2013.

Rotten red tapism.....the root cause of systemic system failures.....!

Do you recollect what happened on 1^st Feb 2011, Soumya, a 23-year-old girl after work on her way home had to undergo the same trauma in a local train and was killed by the brutal defendant Govindachami, who in the court of law was found guilty and court-imposed death penalty considering the case as the rarest of the rare through a fast track court procedure due to public outrage in the state of Kerala then. Now it's nearing 2 years, what's the scenario now……did anything changed….? I would say a blunt & blatant “NO”. Now Govindachami is in jail, in good health, no date declared when death the penalty will be carried out, sometimes even I see the victim file a clemency petition to our honorable president for moderate punishment……….sometimes he may even get away with that……that’s our great democracy all about. Now the second part…….then Indian Railways said, all ladies compartment will be shifted to the middle rather than to be attached as the last wagon and all the ladies compartment will be deployed with railway guards & railway police to ensure safety and protection to women. I was shocked to see a report in the media today, that the same local train now travels with ladies compartment as the last wagon and there is no guards nor police to ensure safety. Mind you, on public outrage after the incident, it was practiced for a couple of months by the railways and then withdrawn. Now sooner or later we will see another Govindachami in the making, as the system always fails to uphold the fundamental rights of its citizens in the highest esteem.

Its a real shame......!!!

Today I sat to write a post with the utmost grief , to hear very morning that the Delhi brave girl is no more. Suddenly it’s a vacuum created and felt I lost someone very close to me. Today, it's black Saturday and I deeply mourn. May the departed soul rest in peace and my deepest condolences to the grieving family. In my view …..we as a society have two problems……mainly it’s about the mindset. India as a whole falls under the patriarchal system and I also fall subject to that. When I was born, brought up and lived till date…….It's always taught to us like a father to take care of his daughter, brother to take care of his sister, boys as friends to take care of girls as friends, husband to take care of his wife, son to take care of his aged mother……etc. All today's men take birth from mothers womb, then how can they go showing disrespect to women at any stage of their life. As a man who stands within the patriarchal system, even though obliged to undergo all the duties mentioned above, when it comes to atrocities on women he stands stranded and looks weak & clueless. We ought to take care of our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters. Have we devalued ourselves as a society that is looked upon as the byproduct of a patriarchal system where we are unable to respect women and at the same time equally uncomfortable to buy the larger diaspora of gender equality?

Atrocities on women, a never ending story.......are we uncomfortable when we talk on Gender equality?

Equally disturbed to see a changing face of the most acknowledged democracy of the world and its complexities to take care of its citizens, truly disheartening. You and Me and likewise many million citizens are standing helpless. Powerhouses like bureaucrats, administrators, politicians...all make a mockery of themselves and they behave not in sync with the nation's pulse/outrage and are highly insensitive.

Being Indian, I am angry with the corruption happening across all levels, atrocities against women (no gender equality – we only preach), scams coming out in a relay one after the other(thanks to the media, otherwise as citizens, we never know  and all these scam people rule as demigods in our minds,), judiciary & political system fails to punish and alienate the influential and powerful scammers, as days progress people losing faith in the system, citizens stand stranded with no hope for justice, the future looks bleak.

Rape/ Atrocities on women, statistics say one in every 20 minutes in India, if I am told right, starts from domestic to public. Mainly due to alcoholism, drugs & certain % of criminal minds. Otherwise, no human will indulge in such heinous crimes with his conscious self. So I am asking the system drivers…….being Indian what have we done towards that to date?

Through media, I could see last Saturday & Sunday, the mob at India Gate, Jantar Mantar, Raising Hills in Delhi treated with water cannons and lathis. Its helpless citizens, no one to guide, control, or direct them, What else a disturbed community can do rather than getting to the road and express their anguish with placards. It's not for a revolution we are looking at, it's just for an amendment of the law, at the earliest so that citizens live in peace and harmony. Hooligans & miscreants, as usual, get into any mob and get into acts of vandalism to dilute the very motive behind such agitation which we should counteract with more courage.

Being Indian…..It's high time, politicians so-called nation drivers...sit, think, act & amend the law of the state in the parliament and lets have "zero tolerance law" for such heinous crimes. " If the victim suffers his/her entire life, then the law should ensure that the accused also is made to suffer his/her entire life"....as straight as that.

Being Indian…..Human rights people preach volumes on the rights which we need to give to the accused but totally ignores the human right values of the victim. Certain sarcastic people say/ask for compensation.......such human rights activists should be less heard. I am worried to see till date not much of human rights activists, women's commission &  social activists in the frame to raise their voice, are they too helpless like citizens without any powers vested in them to make a change.

Being Indian......my Prime Minister with a delayed national address on the 8th day from the gruesome incident date was not touchy to heart for the masses and especially his "theek hai " remark at the end of the address was truly insensitive to the national outrage. Does my PM does not regard “safety and protection for girls/women” have reached a national emergency? I feel political empathy lacks….

Being Indian…..I welcome the leader of Opposition asked for an extra session in the winter parliament to discuss the issue with an all-party meeting too (but sad to see that Government is not willing for that) and the ruling party to set up a fast track judicial commission on Delhi gang rape, but I am equally skeptical whether this will also take its own sweet time with no deadline date to table it on the parliament and get the law amended & passed with the stringent clause.

Being Indian….I am disturbed, how parents can sit at home composed, thinking about their child's safety once she steps out. Shame to have such weak law of the land with no time frame for justice and equally insensitive law bearers where citizens are deprived of their fundamental rights to live respectfully.

I heard Delhi CM, appeal to stay calm and have confidence in the system, she says it takes time, will make it fast, but cannot do anything overnight…as its a process. Being Indian….I understand….but then how much more time I need to wait. Why system was not put in place holistically for all the matter concerned for the last 65 years. Why?.... Why now?

Being Indian…..we ought to undergo the tragedy first, then be reactive, are we really incapable to be proactive……I think we are not, people at the helm of affairs needs to be proactive.