Man Is an Island in the Crowded Room

We are living in a time when a person can stand in the middle of a crowded room and still feel completely alone.

There are people everywhere - at work, in families, in social circles, on our phones, and across our networks - yet true human connection often feels rare. There are many conversations, but warmth is lacking. Smiles are exchanged, but trust is missing. We meet more people than ever before, but belong to fewer groups than ever before.

Why is this happening?

Perhaps because many relationships today have quietly become transactional. Too often, the unspoken question behind human interaction is: “What is in it for me?” A person is respected not always for who they are, but for what they have - power, money, position, authority. These have become the new social measuring scales. The more one has, the more space one is given. The less one has, the more likely one is to be overlooked.

In such a world, people begin to keep a distance - not because they are naturally cold, but because society teaches them to calculate. Time is treated like currency. Presence is weighed against usefulness. Even kindness is sometimes offered selectively, depending on status, influence, or return.

And somewhere in this rush, trust quietly slips away.

A sense of belonging, which once made communities strong and relationships meaningful, now takes a back seat. Many people are surrounded by others, yet emotionally stranded. They are seen, but not understood. Heard, but not felt. Included, but not embraced. That is why modern life, despite all its noise, often leaves the human heart standing like an island in a crowded room.

But this is not the full story of humanity.

Human beings are not wired only for survival, ambition, and self-interest. Deep within, we are also wired for compassion. We are capable of kindness without reward, care without calculation, and presence without agenda. We have all seen it - in the friend who stays when there is nothing to gain, in the colleague who helps quietly, in the stranger who offers support at the right moment, in the family member who understands without being asked.

These are not small things. They are what keep the human world alive.

The world may be becoming more materialistic, but the answer is not to become harder. The answer is to remain human. To check on someone without needing a reason. To listen without rushing. To offer time, not because it is profitable, but because someone matters. To value people not for their status, but for their shared humanity.

In the end, life is not remembered only by the wealth we built, the authority we held, or the power we displayed. It is remembered by the hearts we touched, the burdens we lightened, and the people who felt less alone because we were there.

So even in a crowded, hurried, transactional world, let us choose differently.

Let us be the person who makes another feel that they are not an island.

Because humanity still survives - one selfless act at a time.

Who are you when no one is watching

You can learn a lot about a person in just 30 minutes on a busy road.

Watch how someone drives during peak traffic. Do they cut lanes without warning? Do they keep honking without reason? Do they jump signals, block crossings, squeeze through tiny gaps, and behave as though everyone else on the road is an obstacle? If so, it raises an uncomfortable question: what does this say about the person behind the wheel?

Driving is not just a mechanical skill. It is a social behaviour.

The road is one of the few places where our real nature comes out without much filtering. There, patience, empathy, self-control, respect for rules, and regard for others are constantly tested. A person may speak politely in an office, post inspiring quotes on social media, and present themselves as cultured and educated. But on the road, when delayed, frustrated, and anonymous, their inner discipline often reveals itself.

Rash and irrational driving is not always about poor skill. Very often, it reflects a deeper mindset: “My time matters more than yours.” “My urgency is more important than your safety.” “I want excitement, speed, and advantage - even if others suffer.”

Can such a person be called socially responsible? That is difficult.

A socially committed person understands that public spaces belong to everyone. They do not treat fellow citizens as targets to be overtaken or inconveniences to be pushed aside. Responsible driving shows respect not only for traffic rules but also for human life, public order, and shared civic duty.

But should we simply label bad drivers as “uneducated” or “antisocial”? Not always. Education is not merely literacy or degrees. Many highly qualified people behave terribly on the road. The issue may not be a lack of formal education but rather a lack of emotional maturity, self-regulation, and civic sense. That is far more serious.

Now comes an interesting thought: can a person’s driving behaviour predict whether they would be a good employee?

To some extent, yes.

Driving in heavy traffic can reveal traits that matter at work as well - impulse control, patience, discipline, risk judgment, anger management, respect for systems, and concern for others. Someone who is reckless, entitled, and inconsiderate on the road may carry those attitudes into the workplace. Not always, but often enough to make us think.

Could organisations use this as part of the hiring process? Perhaps not as a rigid rule, but as an insightful behavioural indicator. A short observed drive may reveal more than a polished interview answer. After all, character is best seen in moments without a script.

Ultimately, the road is not separate from society. It is society in motion.

Perhaps the question is not only how people drive, but also who they become when no one is watching.

When You Are an Option

Have you ever felt that someone keeps you around, but never truly chooses you?

It hurts in a way that is hard to explain. They are not fully gone. They are not fully present either. You are somewhere in between - useful, available, familiar - but not important enough to be a clear choice.

This happens in relationships. A boy says he loves a girl, but the moment he sees someone else, his attention shifts. He keeps one person close while looking for another. It can happen at work too. An employee speaks about loyalty and teamwork, but treats the organisation like a temporary stop until something better comes along. He does the job, but his heart is not in it.

So what does this behaviour really mean?

Sometimes, it means the person is confused. Sometimes, they are emotionally immature. Sometimes, they simply want the comfort of having someone or something, without the responsibility of being fully committed to it.

People like this often want the safety of a connection but do not want to close off other options. They like knowing that someone is there for them. They like the support, attention, and reliability. But when it comes to making a clear choice, they hesitate. Why? Because choosing one person, one relationship, or one workplace means letting go of other possibilities. And not everyone is ready for that.

Psychology shows that commitment weakens when people keep comparing what they already have to what else might be available. In simple words, when someone is always looking outside, they stop valuing what is already in front of them.

Is this a personality issue? Or is it an opportunistic mindset?

It can be both.

Some people are naturally restless. They are never fully settled. They keep doubting their decisions. Others are more calculating. They knowingly keep people and places as backups until a better deal comes. One comes from inner confusion. The other comes from convenience.

Culture can also play a role. In countries like India and Japan, people are generally taught to value loyalty, responsibility, and staying connected to the group. In more individualistic countries, such as the U.S. and many parts of Europe, people are encouraged to think more about personal choice and freedom. But still, this is not just about culture. In every country, you will find both loyal people and people who keep others as options.

So how should we deal with such people?

In personal life, do not beg to be chosen. If someone keeps you confused for too long, that itself is an answer. Respect yourself enough to step back.

At work, do not judge only by words. Watch actions. Commitment is seen in consistency, ownership, and sincerity - not in clever talk.

In the end, when someone treats you as an option, it says a lot about them. But it should also remind you of your own worth.

You deserve to be chosen with clarity, not kept around for convenience.

Leadership, Boundaries, and the Grace of Being Genuine

In every workplace, managers are expected to do more than assign tasks and review outcomes. At the heart of good leadership lies a simple but meaningful responsibility: to provide the right guidance and create a positive environment where people can come to work each day with clarity, dignity, and purpose. I have always believed this is one of the most important duties of any person managing a team, and I sincerely try to practice it every day.

A workplace should feel stable, respectful, and encouraging. People perform better when they feel they are part of a fair, professionally nurturing atmosphere. To me, this is the baseline of good management. When this foundation is in place, teams are better able to collaborate, contribute, and grow together.

At the same time, human expectations do not stop there. Once a decent atmosphere is created, the mind naturally begins to seek more - more understanding, more emotional reassurance, more personal validation. This is only human. In many ways, it reflects what Maslow’s Need Hierarchy Theory teaches us: once basic needs are met, higher needs emerge. In professional settings, it is also important to understand boundaries. Colleagues come together to work, support one another, and bring out each other’s strengths for the greater good of the organisation. Expectations beyond mutual respect, decency, and a healthy work culture may sometimes become misplaced. Not every need can or should be fulfilled at the workplace.

Personally, I try to remain genuine and authentic in my dealings with people. I do not believe in leading from an emotional high, nor in making relationships at work performative. But that does not mean I am absent as a human being. In my own quiet way, I try to remain a pillar of support for the people around me. Whether or not everyone recognises it is not something I dwell on. Support does not always need an announcement; often, it simply needs consistency.

I also do not see myself as self-righteous. Life teaches us every day, and people around us become mirrors in unexpected ways. I observe, reflect, and try to evolve. Growth, to me, is not about proving that I am always right. It is about becoming a little more aware, a little more balanced, and a little more compassionate as I move forward.

I have also reached a point where I no longer spend time trying to convince others of my intentions. Deep within, I know I am not wired to wish ill for anyone. Beyond that, I leave space for time, life, and the universe to do their work. People eventually find answers to the questions they carry about others. How someone chooses to interpret us or remembers us is often beyond our control.

At this stage of my life, I feel deeply grateful for my roots, for the values instilled in me, and for the inner compass they continue to provide. In the end, those values define who I am far more than opinions ever could.

The Wholesome Self

 

How one defines wholesomeness in self. Based on my experiences in life, I attempt to scribble my thoughts. We often talk about being a dreamer and constantly working towards your dream. At young age I saw my dreams were like “sky is the limit”, but as years went by dreams also started to become more practical and at my current age it is more in line with the reality of my life. A transition from ‘fantasy to reality’. I believe this happens to most bourgeois middle-class Indians. Dreaming too much, setting high expectations for self and then seeing the gap widening with reality tend to make every soul in philosophical mode. In short, your aspirations are made to rest. As a Child you dream BIG, but at a later stage in life ‘the child in you’ dreams less or stop dreaming.

 

Achievers in personal and work life have always been dreamers, but then they stayed focused on what they aspire for, do not entertain distractions, they try to seek and get into the company of people who believe in making their dream a reality. More to that, I believe it's a continuum with 5 equal sections. The cumulative and compounded output of these five in an individual results in wholesomeness. The famous five include Capability, Honesty, Blessings, Luck and Love.

 

One needs to be capable and have expertise in craft (Capable), honesty and integrity as his identity (Honesty), blessings from parents, teachers, and mentors in life (Blessings), and be able to take the mileage by being at the right place at the right time with the right mindset (Luck), together with the overwhelming love from people at large (Love) leads a self to wholesomeness.

 

Human minds are insatiable. In his journey, a man with his hard work, concerted efforts, life experiences, blessings, luck and love reach a blissful mindset, inner happiness and a secure state of existence, is what wholesomeness means to me. One could be a common man yet achieve wholesomeness through your deeds and thoughts, without the need to get enlightened and be mystic.

Mother's day, penned down a note.......

 ‘Amma’ is an emotion that finds deeper meaning as years go by. Especially when you are at your low, the presence of Amma or even a talk over the phone is great medicine to the soul. I have felt many times and I have observed it many times as well that mothers irrespective of their education, act as tranquillisers, stay calm-composed and stand rock solid beside as a pillar. Their belief about their children is quite deeply rooted and none can change. It’s like wine ageing. I have felt mothers are mentally strong though they might look weak and subtle outside. It’s a fact that relations are entirely transactional in nature, mother is the one emotion where ‘unconditionality’ pitches in. It’s a blessing for all those who could enjoy more of that unconditional love. This reminds me of the historic scene from the iconic film Deewar, the heated argument b/w the brothers Amitabh & Shashi Kapoor, the scene ends with the heart-touching liner when Shashi Kapoor says ‘mere pass maa hai’. Take care of them, be with them, and ensure they are in their zone, that’s the best we can give. The fact is that we will never be able to repay our mothers. With that note, ‘Happy Mother's Day’ to all wonderful mothers.

Is a Machinist be poor in people management or is it a protective shield he puts deliberately across in public?

I am a person who loves to live and keep my activities/things in order. At home and at the workplace, I am OCD. I used to take care of all the things which are associated with my daily routine with at most care and diligence. Can bracket the items like my pen, my backpack, my laptop, my electronic gadgets, my shoe, my books/files, my vehicle….etc all as materialistic. In a way, how I see is that these items can’t speak up like humans, hence the person who handles/manages these should be logically a step ahead of a people management expert. Take the case of people who have pets at home, they take care of them quite nicely by providing all the comfort before they demand (it's like ordinary people think futuristic and act accordingly). Thus, for a discussion purpose, I bracket a Machinist as one who manages everything (ie, who can’t speak up) except humans. 

I understand, to manage people in an organization is the most difficult part, as people have different views and it’s the people mindset that takes the maximum time to change when compared to systems and process change. In my experience, whether it's machine or people, one can effectively manage with good subject knowledge, logical approach, being genuine, transparent, trust, and relatedness with which others could connect. It is not rocket science. My moot point here is, a person in his work life of 30 years of which he dealt managing machines for 28 years and only 2 years into people management, could be pardoned and bracketed that he could miss out on the nuances and nitty-gritty involved in managing people and not for a people-oriented person who is into 30 years in man-management. Is a Machinist live in silos, does he not communicate with the community (people). He is a machinist only as part of his work. A child growing to man, it’s the environment which contributes 80% towards character formation and only 20% is through parenting/genes. I have also seen people who are very effective in managing everything and anything at home and in the extended family and project themselves as a disaster when it comes to the workplace. 

A Mechanist or a People Manager, both are leaders even though one manages the non-speak ups and the other manages the speak-ups. A person who manages the non-speak ups, is intellect, intuitive, strategist, empathizer, reflective, and above all does things up front, in short, I would say he is a mind reader, fixer, keen observer, and executioner at the same time. Many times I have come across hearing that people management is an art and a soft skill that everyone does not possess. There are people at the workplace, who project as ‘not capable’ in handling people, but the moment they see an opportunity, they do all and above which is prescribed under the people management realm. At times I got surprised by these types of people reaching out to others and convincing colleagues in line with their thought process. Many a time, it is also observed that these subtle characters at the workplace, show exemplary persona in effectively managing, especially the monthly home chores without any guidance and support single headedly.

Would conclude by saying that ‘if you are born as a human (IQ wise not a challenged individual), then the mere statement of one saying that I perhaps could not meet the expectation of people, in the first place was definitely not genuinely interested to do anything for the people around, irrespective of he being a mechanist or a people’s person. A man lives as a leader and a follower same time, it is like two sides of a coin, empathy is the key, ignorance of not understanding can only be looked upon as deliberate!!!